The call to create
Things have changed. Months into a pandemic and our lives have turned upside down. No more friends to hug, no more trips to take or places to go just to hangout. Slowly they are allowing us to go back to our old things, but it is no longer as good. Just one year ago life was a lot simpler. We didn’t wear masks everywhere we went, we could sit down at any coffee shop and work on our laptops. We could go to museums and parks. Shake hands, make new friends and go to crowded places like the mall around Christmas.
Being thankful helps life feel easier
My personal life has changed dramatically too. I can’t complain because we still have an income, a place to live and food to eat. I know that is not the reality for a lot of people. That’s really sad. I have no right to complain about anything. But, my life has changed dramatically. Early this year I started a YouTube channel with the intention of developing some video editing skills, creating art more consistently and just have some fun in the process. March 2020 came around and I had to become a full time mom with a school aged child. This is the story of many of us. I had plans to create additional income, dreams of family trips and vacations. All that got placed in the “someday” pile.
And all throughout this lockdown, and extremely busy time I have been called to make art. To create. I have my studio with my materials and tools and they yell at me. But I ignore them. I have been ignoring them this whole time. And that’s for a good reason, I am a mother and that takes precedence to everything else.
We are now homeschooling. I am with my child 24 hours a day. Well, almost, because she does take martial arts lessons and I wait in the car for 40 minutes until she’s done. Those are 80 minutes a week that we get separated and I get to sit in the car. That’s pretty funny. It becomes the game how-can-I-use-this-time-productively game.
Throughout these hard times, I have been angry, discouraged, disappointed and it was difficult to look around myself and be grateful for the great things in my life. I made an effort anyway. It’s not a sustainable existence being angry all the time.
The call is still here, yelling at me to go and make art. At this point, I am giving that call a little more attention but not as much as it needs. Who knows if I will ever follow through with it? Who knows, but I have hope. I hope you have hope too.
Stay well.